Renegades Crowned League Champions

Renegades came out on top in physical battle against second place Teachers. There were some big hits going in from both sides and players will have woken up on Sunday morning feeling like they've been hit over the head with a bar stool. It's also looking likely that The Blair Witch Project will be unavailable for next week because he is still winded.

Both teams had some early chances but failed to convert them into points, Renegades came closest when Kitchen-Tiler was tackled over the line by his opposite number. With Director of Rugby Barry Archiballs still sidelined with swollen ankles, it was up to PK Skips to take over kicking duties again. This week he went for the tactic of kicking the ball straight through the middle instead of bouncing off the post. This tactic proved successful on his first attempt, to give Renegades a 3-0 lead. Unfortunately the kicking went downhill from there for PK and he took his frustration out on the nearest Englishman he could find by picking a fight with Charlie about absolutely nothing.

Renegades kept up the pressure and eventually McChin crashed over for the first try of the game. For some reason, the sight of the salad dodging hooker flopping over the line upset both scrum halves and after exchanging pleasantries, both were given a 10 minute rest in the sin bin. In order to run the clock down so we could get Healy back on the field, Mcglynn intelligently spent the next 10 minutes constantly giving away penalties at the breakdown.

The game also saw Dunks finally starting to show his age, with the 2nd row stalwart leaving the field injured for the first time in his 56 year career, after falling awkwardly on his neck. However, it was nothing that a bag of ice and a can of Stella couldn't fix, as Dunks joined Barry in shouting incoherently from the sideline.

A try from young centre Cedric Ennis, made it 13-0 at half time. Captain Sausage has obviously been reading "The Korean Pool Hall Guide to Half Time Team Talks" as for the 3rd time this season against Teachers, the Renegades conceded a try straight after the break. This time it was Healy who couldn't decide whether to catch the ball, let it bounce or trap it with this feet and in the end seemed to try to do all 3 at once and then gift wrapped the ball and delivered it to the opposition's winger to run it in under posts.

But Renegades were soon back in the opposition 22. After kicking to the corner from a penalty, the forwards went for a driving maul. The pack seemed to be struggling to get any forward momentum, but fortunately centre Prince Charlie was on hand to give them extra weight they needed to get over the line. Mcglynn was so happy with his second try that he went straight home to text all of his mates after the game.

Teachers continued to look dangerous, with winger Corey making good yards every time he touched the ball. Teacher's Shoe-entrepreneur Aldo was putting in big hits around the field, one time launching Jamie Bum further than some of PK's conversion attempts. Renegades defence held up for a while under the pressure, including a great covering tackle from Cedric on the opposition scrum half. But it seemed that the referee may have been swinging in favour of the Teachers after a series penalties led to the Teachers getting a second try to close the gap on the Renegades.

But Renegades were awarded a penalty of their own in a kickable position and it seemed that the sensible option would be to take the 3 points. But, as ever, chief goal hanger and Salty-impersonator Jimmy Bum was on hand to crash over for the bonus point try.

The Renegades backs were already short after Quigley failed a late fitness test when he pulled his calf getting out bed. So it was up to Caballo Loco to fill in on the wing when Frank was smashed into next Tuesday by the Teacher's shoe-seller. Frank said after the game that it was almost as bad as the time he shot himself in the neck with a tranquilizer gun.

The Renegades were able to hold on to win 23-17 and secure the league title for the 4th time in 5 seasons.

Earlier in the day, the Ladies team dropped from 1st to 3rd in the league after a 1-0 loss to Teachers. With several players still unavailable after the Christmas break (and almost certainly pregnant), the Renegades had to survive with only 2 players on the bench. This was reduced to 1, when captain Mullo had to go off injured, despite her attempts to continue to hobble around the field. An early try for the Teachers was enough to secure the win and Renegades will need to return to form next week if they want to stay in the running for the league title.