Renegades Finish League Unbeaten with Close Win

In what was supposed to be the penultimate game of the season, Renegades had to fight to the last minute after throwing away an early lead against Teachers Police. The opposition knew that it could be the last chance this season to get a win over Renegades and they threw everything into it including some Teachers players. The borrowed players meant that the Police had the privilege of dropping their shit players to the bench, but, with only 15 players, Renegades did not have the same pleasure which meant that Mikey had to play a full game. The long season also seemed to have taken its toll on the referees, who had to borrow President Nash to run touch. Fortunately he wasn't responsible for keeping score as he still thinks it's 3 points for a try and is highly suspicious of bonus points. He was joined on the touch line by Renegades best ever Scottish fly half, who was on hand to lend Des his pacemaker if things got too much for him. At one point it looked like he might need it, as a Police clearance kick was aimed straight at the touch judges head. But Des called on his years of experience of watching Birmingham City and allowed the ball to smack him straight in the face.

Renegades started strongly with tries from Barry Archiballs and Tony Man-Bun, which were both converted by Archiballs with the assistance of Ashley. But Renegades players obviously knew that there was no chance of being subbed no matter how little effort they put in, so started tackling like a checkout girl at Lindos. This allowed Teachers in for a try to close the gap. The weak tackling also allowed for some end to end rugby. On one occasion a good break from Teachers took them into the Renegades 22, but the Police were turned over by Captain Sausage who combined well with Dave DaRave to run in under the posts at the other end of the field. The conversion from Ashley made it 21-5. There were worries when young 2nd row Jacobe had to go off injured, but fortunately Willy Woo arrived at National Stadium in his sailing boat just in time. At 4ft 2 he would struggle to scrummage in the 2nd row without a booster seat, so winger Canadi-Ben was moved there instead. Obviously aware that our only sub was now used up and again there was no chance of being subbed, Healy decided to practice his box kicks at every ruck. The game began to get scrappy when Prince Charles started to piss everyone off with his poshness, which resulted a bit of a scrap on the stroke of half time.

When Tony Man-Bun got a bit tired, Renegades decided to join in the trend of borrowing players and managed to pick up a stray Mariner wandering around the sidelines still in his boots. Teachers came back with 2 more tries to tie the score at 24-24 with a few minutes to go. After another injury, Renegades had to call on Miso Horny to help out for the last few minutes. Clearly confused by all the player swapping, the referee was found on the sidelines in Mariners shorts and a Police shirt. However, Miso made an instant impact after pulling on the Renegades shirt, running a great supporting line to take an offload from Captain Sausage and scoring a try under posts in the last play of the game. However the excitement wasn't over as Charles had a jolly good go at pissing off the Police one more time. The late try also gave the Renegades a bonus point. With all league positions finalized, the clubs decided to just sack off the last round of fixtures next week and just go on the piss instead. That decision means the Renegades finish the league with 11 games played, 11 wins and 10 bonus points. However, with cup semi finals coming up Renegades will need to improve on their performance as all of the other clubs will be looking to topple the league champions.

Earlier in the day, the ladies were on the opposite end of a last minute try. Two beautiful tries gave the Renegades a good lead. But Susie was clearly keen for rest and decided to get herself sent off, letting the Police in for a try in the process. It looked like Renegades had done enough to hold on for a well needed win, but in the 15th minute of injury time the Police snuck over for controversial try. The result means that there will be a tense finish to the women's league with 3 teams in the running for the title, but Renegades will need to rely on the Police losing to Mariners. The games will be played on Friday night before the Bermuda National Team take on New York Athletic Club.

Later in the night, the Renegades welcomed their new players to the club with some cross-dressing and karaoke.