Renegades Back to Winning Ways
By Renegade (Web)Master
Teachers in detention as they fight with themselves
With the rugby back at National Stadium North Field for the first game of 2019, the Renegades had a point to prove having lost the 2 games before the Christmas break.
The Renegades started well with majority of the possession in the Teachers half. It wasn’t long before Jimmy Bum scored his first try of 2019 off the back of a 5 meter scrum.
Renegades continued to dominate in both possession and territory but before long some questionable/imbecilic passes and offloads allowed the teachers to run the length of the pitch to score two tries against the run of play.
The Renegades didn’t drop their heads and continued to exert pressure in the Teachers 22. They were duly rewarded as Lewy Lewis and the News had a simple run-in try on the wing making the half time score 12-12 and all to play for in the second half.
In the second half Renegades continued to exert pressure on the Teachers with the forwards starting to gain an edge on their counterparts. On the face of it, it might seem unusual to make the one member in your team with mild Tourettes your lineout caller but there is method to the madness – if we have no idea where our own lineout ball is going then the opposition certainly doesn’t!
Brownie managed to notch up a brace of tries using his pace and poshness to finish them well.
PK newly back in the side and on kicking duties following his sabbatical at Mariners was a shadow of his former self. The cheeky british lad with a smile on his face and a glint in his eye who used to kick conversions over for fun was no more. Only managing 2 out 4 conversions he handed over kicking duties to Benett (a ridiculous choice). It’s not clear what Mariners have done to PK but he is clearly broken and they aren’t offering any refunds.
Jimmy Bum managed another try so as not to be out done by his live-in companion Brownie (it’s reported these two nutters celebrated in style on Front Street following their 4 combined tries).
Benett claims that because he supported Italy in Italia 90 and USA 94 he was adequately qualified to attempt a conversion. The fog of delusion was soon lifted as the Teachers lads were diving for cover under the posts as the ball flew face height directly towards them.
In the midst of the second half Renegades received 2 yellow cards. One for an alleged trip by Ed the Duck who claimed he himself tripped over – it was just a coincidence that his trip resembled a Titus Bramble slide tackle.
The other yellow was for Orange Sam who claims his attempt at an interception plus the forward momentum of the ball was unfairly misconstrued as a cynical knock down.
However, the Renegades were not the most undisciplined team on the pitch that day. In the middle of open play, the two Teachers second rows got into a scuffle with each other before it escalated into a full blow fight. It took several of their own team mates to break them up after which one of them hurdled the fence, picked up his bag and drove off on his bike.
Renegades legend and all round sharp tool Mikey Williams said on Sunday evening “I still can’t work out what was going on there”.
We can only speculate as to why the Teachers second rows resorted to fisticuffs. Here are the top speculations:
- Gorilla marketing campaign for Teachers Fight Night
Embarrassingly it was a much better fight than the one Bum, McChin and PK had in the same fixture last year:
After all the excitement, Teachers managed to score another try. But PK showed glimpses of his past glory to kick 2 penalties to put the game beyond reach as Renegades won 35-19.